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How and Why to be Emotionally Accessible

Emotional accessibility man
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Emotional accessibility man

Relationships that are healthy are built on the foundation of emotional accessibility. It encourages transparency, communication, closeness, and depth. So, why is it that being emotionally unavailable is such a widespread problem? Because it’s also self-protective.

However, there are a variety of reasons why people believe they need to maintain the kind of isolation it promotes. When total trust in relationships is questioned, often for very valid reasons, it can be frightening. However, you should consider whether the “protection” from emotional connection with others is worth the ultimate outcome.

Let’s look at what emotionally accessibility means, why people struggle with it, and how to make it better.

What exactly is emotional accessibility?

  • You are trustworthy. You consistently show up when you say you will, and you act in a trustworthy manner. Emotionally unavailable people are more inclined to be unreliable, opaque, or deliver mixed messages. They could have been aware of it or not.
  • You have excellent emotional control. You are thoughtful, considerate, and inquisitive. To keep their emotional distance, some people who are emotionally inaccessible utilize anger, criticism, or dominating conduct.
  • You’re not simply satisfied with looking at and communicating your own emotions. This is a sensitive act. The act feels dangerous or too near for people who innately feel insecure in relationships or in life. This is perhaps due to family concerns. Those that are truly emotionally open often have a largely positive sense of themselves. So this is to say that authenticity isn’t a problem for them.
  • Physical love and kindness are natural ways for you to show intimacy. This necessitates a desire to be exposed in interpersonal connections.
  • You have the ability to respond to other people’s feelings. In partnerships, this entails good listening abilities, attunement, and empathy. It’s difficult to understand and attest to another’s feelings and wants if you’re not conscious of your own. As a result, they might not reciprocate your emotional efforts.
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Why are there so many emotionally inaccessible people?

The answer to this issue is complicated, and there is no simple solution. In a short, you may have discovered that being entirely open to others, much less alone to yourself, is not emotionally safe. Your emotional needs may not be met due to the quality of your early bond with your parents or caregivers.

Receiving no affection, affirmation, or support, as well as being chastised, abused, or downplayed for emotional manifestations, might develop into a relationship quality that later poses a threat to emotional availability.

Feeling unlovable or uncertain of truly relying on others are scenarios that may keep you from being emotionally honest. This defensive response makes perfect sense. However, his baggage includes concerns and anxieties about it acting out, which could be self-destructive.

Also Read: The Reasons Why Women Avoid Nice Guys

Many people are emotionally absent because they have never examined themselves from this angle. They may be unaware that issues with their family of origin or other difficult life situations are causing them problems. Many people are aware of this, but are unsure what to do about it.

People cycle between being emotionally inaccessible and having close relationships or friendships, getting burned over and over again and asking why. Understanding what’s going on and being concerned about your role is the first step towards breaking this toxic relationship patterns. It can be tricky and go both ways.

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Emotional inaccessibility can be triggered by past breakup grief. There are also culturally ingrained signals that emotions and sensitivity are “weak” for guys, which plainly contradicts feeling secure enough to open up.

How Emotional Inaccessibility affect others

  • As your connection becomes less secure, you may regretfully lose your desire to be emotionally open to someone, leaving two people cut off from one another.
  • If there are any signs of getting closer, they are brief. It may be difficult to tell how you’re progressing as a pair, leading to increased doubt in the relationship.
  • You may be perplexed as to why you can’t connect with them despite your best attempts. (If this continues, consider sociopathy or issues with your own family of origin.
  • Their lack of consistency and candor may make you feel apprehensive about your relationship. You’re not sure where you stand with them.
  • Lack of affection expressed through touch, pleasant gestures, or consideration may cause you to steadily withdraw, thus reducing your sexual interest to them. If they haven’t already bailed out, this is the effect of constantly striking a brick wall and finally giving up.
  • Frustration, unhappiness, and eventually loneliness can result from a lack of emotional awareness and empathy.
  • As your connection becomes less secure, you may regretfully lose your desire to be emotionally open to someone. This will certainly leave two people cut off from one another.

How to improve your emotional accessibility

There is no “magic wand” solution, but it can be done with some work. You’ve already made a good start in that earliest moments if you’re aware that you’re not present for folks in a troublesome way and have to do something about it. Many people never do anything like that because they don’t see the problem or its consequences.

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The second step to improve emotional accessibility is to be willing to delve into your personal history. Are there any cultural messages that should be questioned? Have you had a traumatic love history that has caused you to take evasive protection measures that are ultimately counterproductive? Working with a therapist and your family of origin can be beneficial.

This expert can assist you in exploring your prior relationships, emotional wounds, traumatic experiences, or harmful messages. You then separate this from who you are now, including your views about yourself, others, and the world. Part of the therapy entails challenging damaging preconceived assumptions about your worth and lovability, as well as trust issues. They also obstruct your capacity to be open.

These concepts can become deeply ingrained and essentially connected in your brain, leading to behaviors like freezing, fighting, and fleeing.  As a result, fully removing the bad roots of your garden requires time, altering narratives, and experimenting with healthy alternatives. Allow yourself some patience if the line isn’t perfectly straight.

Not only can becoming emotionally accessible enhance your mental health, but it can also improve the individual’s quality of life.

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In our own words, what does it mean to be emotionally open? And how do you know if you’re being emotionally honest with yourself or not? Comment below!

Life

The Basics of effective parenting in 2022

Effective parenting in display
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Effective parenting in display

Parents today are faced with more decisions and choices than ever before. And, as new technologies and ways of parenting emerge.  So it’s important to understand how these changes can affect the way you raise your child in the future. By learning about the basics of effective parenting in 2022, you’ll be better equipped to teach your children everything they need to know as they grow up in an increasingly technological world. Here are some basics that every parent should know.

Elementary School Children

Most children begin elementary school at age 5, which means they’ll be entering kindergarten around 2028. At that point, expect them to receive an education heavy on practical skills, like teamwork and physical ability. Recent studies have shown that kids who grow up playing sports and taking part in other physically engaging activities consistently outperform their more sedentary peers. This is especially true for young girls; physical activity at a young age can help alleviate much of their risk for eating disorders later on. Take advantage of extracurricular opportunities at your child’s school—not only will it help them develop important skills, but it also helps you get involved with your local community!

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Also Read: Charlotte Dootson Strangled Partner to Death

Moving Out

Having children is a wonderful part of life, but being a parent can be tough. If you’re concerned that your child might be headed down a bad path, it’s crucial to take steps early. You may feel like moving them out into their place is too extreme, but studies have shown that kids are less likely to end up with bad habits if they spend their early years living independently. By giving them responsibility and learning how to live without constant parental supervision, you can instill confidence and valuable life skills (like cooking) while ensuring they make good decisions about drugs and alcohol.

Good Parenting Habits

Children need to know that their guardians care about them. Children who feel loved and cared for tend to be happier, smarter, and more well-adjusted than children who do not feel love or support from their guardians. Effective parenting begins with ensuring that your children are happy and comfortable as possible. In addition to having material comforts such as food, clothing, shelter, and toys/games/books available for your child at all times you should: make sure that your home is safe by checking for potential hazards regularly; ensure that any situation that could lead to injury has been eliminated; listen to their needs and address them immediately; encourage positivity by rewarding good behavior with words rather than actions.

See also  5 Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

How to Improve Parents/Children Relationships

How to build a positive relationship with your child. Who wouldn’t want to spend more time with their kids? And how better to do that than by spending time away from them? Go on vacation or spend an afternoon with friends, and you’ll come back feeling refreshed and ready for another day with your children. Going out and exploring new things is something you can do together when you get back. Learn about nature, art, history, and more—after all, those are just some of the great benefits (and topics) of parent-child conversations! Remember, though: going out doesn’t have to mean leaving your family behind. You can still plan trips that include everyone. There are many ways to make sure you don’t miss out on quality time while also getting some alone time. Explore these options and find what works best for you and your family:

  • A night at home watching movies together.
  • A trip to an amusement park.
  • An afternoon at a museum.
  • A trip to visit grandparents/relatives A day at a local attraction.
  • A walk through a new neighborhood.
  • An adventure on a bike path.
  • A hike along a river or creek A day at an outdoor festival.
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Are You Ready For Parenthood?

Before you conceive a child, it’s important to make sure you are ready to be a parent. It’s not only about knowing that you want to have children, but that you also have what it takes to be a great parent. The basics I will go over here are just that, basics. Some of these things should be obvious and others might seem like common sense at first glance, but being ready for parenthood means being open-minded enough to hear someone else’s suggestions and opinions on how best to raise your child.

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Dating

10 Warning Signs of a Dying Relationship

signs of a dying relationship
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The relationships you have with the people in your life can be one of the most rewarding parts of your life, as well as one of the most painful. It’s important to be able to recognize if you’re hurting yourself or someone else through your relationship. Make changes accordingly so that everyone involved can be happier and healthier. These ten signs can help you determine if your relationship is healthy and working towards a long-term success. Or if it needs some work before it becomes truly fulfilling and rewarding.

1) They don’t make you feel good about yourself

When you’re with that person, do you feel better about yourself, or worse? If it’s worse—you know who it is. No one is good enough for your love and friendship, if they don’t make you feel good about yourself. This is perhaps one of our most important relationships to take care of. Many people put their relationship with themselves at an equal level with their marriage or friendship. This is because they have a greater impact on our happiness than anyone else can!

Read more: What to Text a Girl to Start a Conversation-A 2022 Romantic Guide

2) They drain your energy

You’re likely to be fatigued in a bad relationship. It’s not always easy to pick up on it because you might attribute your low energy level to something else. In reality, you could be experiencing a form of emotional or even physical fatigue, which has nothing to do with rest or sleep. If you suspect your partner is constantly draining your energy levels, whether intentionally or unintentionally, then it’s time to consider cutting ties and moving on. Healthy relationships nurture one another rather than deplete them. So listen closely to how you feel after spending time with someone. If they’re making you feel like crap day in and day out, maybe it’s time for a change.

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3) They don’t respect you

Having a hard time communicating with your spouse or significant other is one of those surefire ways to tell you’re in an unhealthy relationship. In fact, having a hard time communicating is often more than just an indication that something’s wrong; it’s one of those definite signs that it may be time to move on. Couples who have trouble speaking openly and honestly can’t possibly love each other enough, which means they shouldn’t be together at all. If you notice your significant other doesn’t respect your opinions or just doesn’t listen when you talk, then there may be problems in paradise – but only if things don’t change. Love means listening and respecting your partner.

4) They are secretive

A good relationship is not one in which your spouse feels they need to hide things from you. A loving couple trust each other, and know that by sharing their feelings, thoughts, problems, etc., they can resolve them together. If you feel that something is being hidden from you, or if your spouse frequently has to tell lies and fabricate stories to cover their actions, then there is a huge problem and big risk of divorce. If they are hiding things and lying to you on a consistent basis then how can they ever be honest with you when bigger issues come up (for example)? Honesty is imperative in any relationship.

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Also Read: Spain to Establish a Menstrual Leave law.

5) Makes you feel bad about other people

This is a red flag for many experts, including Glamour’s resident love and dating expert, April Masini. If you feel bad about others’ relationships because yours seems so lacking in comparison—or if you start thinking others are better than you because of their perfect partners—then something is wrong. It’s normal to have these feelings from time to time, but if they’re permanent and never-ending, that can be an indication that your relationship isn’t solid ground on which to build a marriage. The solution is pretty simple: If you think everyone else has more going for them in terms of relationships than you do (and therefore a happier life), don’t enter into a relationship with someone who brings those negative thoughts into your mind.

6) They argue with you in public

True, couples sometimes argue in public. But if your partner is yelling at you or putting you down in front of other people—including their parents—it’s probably a sign that they don’t respect you and are trying to hurt your feelings. If you feel that your marriage isn’t working after seeing a few of these signs, it might be time to start planning for divorce.

7) Friends and family disapprove of them

Friends and family do not approve of your partner is a huge red flag. Sure, sometimes you have to marry for love but if everyone thinks your spouse is an axe murderer there’s probably something to that. If both your families disapprove of them there may be some serious relationship issues at play here. Are they dating another person that doesn’t approve of their relationship? This can indicate more problems down the road for sure. Before jumping into a marriage with someone make sure everyone likes them!

See also  5 Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

8) There’s a lot of confusion in the relationship

Are we dating or is it a serious relationship? How long do I wait to call him my boyfriend? If he keeps canceling plans, does that mean he doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore? Am I ready for marriage if I love being single so much?! These are some of the questions you might be asking yourself as you wonder whether your relationship is really working.

9) You find yourself hiding things from them

If you are keeping secrets from your partner, chances are your relationship is more of a partnership than a relationship. Transparency and honesty are necessary for any type of healthy connection, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic bond. If you can’t tell your partner everything because you know they will get mad, or if there is something going on in your life that you feel like you can’t talk to them about, then your relationship isn’t working at its fullest potential.

10) You keep waiting for the good times to return but they never do

If you’re experiencing a roller coaster of ups and downs in your relationship, you may be able to pinpoint one person (or both) as having an all or nothing attitude. This often leads to blow-ups, hurt feelings, and even breakups. Be sure to be careful with how you phrase things when trying to change someone else’s all or nothing thinking.

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Life

How to Make Long Distance Relationship Work in 2022

How to make long distance relationship work
Views: 1733
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How to make long distance relationship work

You’ve probably wondered, “Is this worth it?” if you’re in a long-distance relationship (LDR). “Is this going to work?” “How about the guy my best friend wants to introduce me to who lives right down the street?” Long-distance relationships, like intimate friendships, can be difficult and discouraging. They can, however, be genuinely enjoyable and liberating. “How do I make my long-distance relationship work?” I am frequently asked in emails. Do you have any suggestions? “Would you be willing to write an article about it?”

Here are five tips for making LDRs work so that your relationship can maintain the love and care you and your partner have for one another despite physical distance.

The Long-Distance Relationship Study

Long-distance relationships are not inherently worse than close-proximity relationships. This is because, like relatively close relationships, the quality of the relationship is determined by each partner’s characteristics and how the partners collaborate (or do not collaborate).

Here are some positive findings from the study:
  • “Studies show that LD intimate relationships are as trustworthy and satisfying as their relatively close counterparts.”
  • Another study of 870 people in LDRs discovered that partners in LDRs showed higher rates of commitment to their partners and reduced levels of feeling restrained than people who lived closer together.
  • Long-distance relationships, like relatively close relationships, require habits that enhance the emotional connection.

Precisely, studies show that succeeding in an LDR is boils down to a few key characteristics: choosing to be psychologically invested in the relationship, Precisely, studies show that succeeding in an LDR is boils down to a few key characteristics: choosing to be psychologically immersed in the relationship, treasuring each other, actively talking, fostering chances for in-person contact without a screen between you, and, at a certain point, removing the distance.

 

Here are Five Ways to Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

Concentrate on the Possibilities

The temporary separation from your partner does not have to be all bad. As much as you will miss each other, this is also an opportunity. A chance to miss each other! To put yourself first! To devote time to hobbies or social connections that you might not have developed otherwise! All of that “me time” can be beneficial to the relationship.

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Here are two strategies for turning self-rule into affection in your relationship.

  • Use your alone time to learn more about yourself and who you are. Then, using your newfound self-awareness, open up to your partner. For example, “I’m going to take a cooking class because I’ve always wanted to learn how to make homemade pasta.” And then I’ll cook for you when you come to town next month!” This allows your partner to see who you are evolving into and allows them to feel connected to whatever is going on in your life.
  • Once you get a job promotion, are thrilled about something you see, or are feeling energized, you can convey that energy to your partner, by not only sharing the exciting news or event but also by shifting that energy into love for your partner. “I recently received a significant promotion at work.” I’m currently on the verge of completing my first App development. Isn’t that thrilling? I enjoy sharing this achievement with you. “You are very special to me.”

Despite the distance, these opportunities could be used to foster a stronger connection. Distance to some extent also allows you to cherish the memories you’ve shared and those you’ll share in the coming years. If something brings back a special memory for you, photograph it and try sharing it with your partner. These pointers will help you maintain your viewpoint when the distance feels particularly daunting.

Read >> Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships and Solutions

Accept Technology

In today’s modern world, if you’re in a long-distance relationship, you must embrace technology for your relationship to last. Lovers did send letters to one another before the internet era, sitting tight for days or weeks to get a response. Most modern couples do not do this. Rather, you can use phones or computers to quickly connect with your partner, no matter where they might be.

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This does not imply that you must be available to connect with your partner at all times; this is unhealthy. But if you and your partner can create and stick to a digital communication routine, you’ll be glad you did.

It’s also important to be understanding if your partner needs to change plans or misses one of your planned connections. Make it acceptable to say no or change plans on occasion. This allows for greater freedom to connect rather than connecting out of duty. A relationship is not strengthened by simply sitting on the phone in silence out of obligation.

Note: If modifying plans and failing to show up for regular calls becomes a consistent trend, it’s time to talk about it.

(Don’t miss this article about the Love Tank Theory and whether it’s the key to making a successful relationship.)

 

Make Something to Look Forward To

Your long-distance relationship can succeed if it doesn’t stay for a lifetime. Help ensure your partner agree on an end date for the long-distance portion of your relationship. If one partner, for instance, needs to travel for work, clearly explain when this will end and when they will return.

This deadline gives you and your partner something to look forward to. It’s also a fun countdown you can do together as you look forward to reconnecting deeply with one another when you’re back together.

Meanwhile, you can plan things to look forward to during your visits. Whether you’re spending a weekend or a month around each other, try to fill your meetings with quality time and activities that you’ll both enjoy.

When the geographical distance in your relationship ends and you are closer, you will need to adjust. The distance can lead to imagining your partner, and then when you move in together or begin seeing each other more regularly, you may begin to notice minor irritations. As you discuss how to be with one another, it’s critical to reset your expectations and stabilize healthy conflict.

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Communicate insecurity to build trust and set boundaries when necessary

A long-distance relationship necessitates a high level of trust and dependability. If one partner is on the other side of the world, waking up to a social media post of their partner out partying until 4:00 a.m. may make them feel insecure.

So, what do you do when you’re insecure and your partner isn’t physically present?

  • Hide your insecurity and act as if it doesn’t exist. Often, however, this suppression explodes like Mentos in a Coke bottle over something minor, such as your partner being three minutes late for a phone call. Despite your best efforts to keep your partner close, this can push them away.
  • Attempt to exert control over your partner without revealing your insecurity. For example, you could say, “You can’t hang out until 3:00 a.m.,” putting yourself in the role of a parent to pacify your insecurities. This is not vulnerable and will make your partner feel constrained.
  • In a susceptible way, express your insecurities. “I noticed you were out until late midnight,” for example. I love you and worry that if I’m not there, you’ll fall in love with someone else.” Sharing your worries and fears with your partner can bring you closer together, allowing them to pacify your insecurity.

According to research, soothingly sharing your insecurities leads to even more connection, deeper understanding, and mutual trust.

Regularly check-inregularly check-in in a relationship

I’m not just talking about texts that ask, “How’s your day?” It’s also critical that you both check in with each other on a profound level. This allows you both to address possible problems before they become major issues. Also, it unlocks channels of communication for more in-depth discussions.

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Long-distance relationships can flourish if both partners are reliable, share insecurities in a non-accusatory manner, and embrace technology. The quality of a relationship, such as the quality of a close relationship, is determined by the choices each partner makes and how both partners work together.

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