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What Makes a Relationship Last? The Key Factors You Need to Know

A Lasting Relationship
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old aged couple enjoying their long lasting relationship at a beach

Love is one of the most complex human emotions. It is not just a feeling, but a conscious decision to commit to another person, to share your life with them and work towards building a fulfilling relationship together. It’s a beautiful thing, but also one that requires patience, understanding, and emotional maturity to last a lifetime.

What Makes Love Grow

Be reasonably contented

Firstly, it is important that both individuals in the relationship are reasonably content and not needy. Being content means that you are happy with who you are, your life goals, and you are not looking for someone else to fix your problems. It’s about being self-reliant and having a strong sense of self-worth. When you are needy, you are self-centered, and this can lead to acting in ways that hurt your partner and driving them away.

The more we are unhappy or afraid of life, and hope that love will “fix” this for us, the more miserable we become in the relationship once the short-term biochemical “high” has died out, and we go back to being no happier than before. Therefore, it is essential that couples who have a chance of love lasting a lifetime are content and secure in their ability to be single and to face life on their own.

Steady in-person dating

Secondly, couples should take at least six to twelve months of steady in-person dating before they decide if they are serious about the other person. There may be an instant and strong attraction, but they understand that this is just a self-produced temporary high, and they don’t let themselves be swept away by it. Chemistry is only 11% of what makes a relationship last. Therefore, it is important to take the time to get to know the person beyond the initial attraction.

Thirdly, they usually date steadily, in-person, for at least two or more years. No one can hide behind their social mask forever, and it can take two or even more years for the real self to start to show through. You cannot judge how you and your partner will get along long-term until both of you have started to come down from the initial “high” and see each other clearly. Even then, there will end up being unpleasant surprises once you two start living together, and how well that goes depends on how well both of you can work with your own hurt and anger.

What Makes a Relationship Work

Emotional Maturity

What makes a relationship work is when both parties are emotionally matured enough that they can work with their own reactions. Rather than blaming their partner for their own emotions, they fix themselves so that they can accept their partner, flaws, and all.

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Emotional maturity is about taking responsibility for your own feelings and actions, being able to communicate effectively and respectfully, and being able to handle conflicts and challenges without getting defensive or aggressive. It takes time and effort to develop emotional maturity, and it is a process that never ends. But it is essential for a healthy and lasting relationship.

Acceptance

Another crucial factor in making a relationship work is acceptance. Acceptance means accepting your partner for who they are, without trying to change them or mold them into your ideal partner. It means recognizing their flaws and imperfections and still loving them unconditionally.

It’s important to understand that no one is perfect, and everyone has flaws. Accepting your partner’s flaws and quirks can actually strengthen your bond, as it shows that you love and appreciate them for who they are, not just for what they do.

Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. It’s about being able to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and openly, without fear of judgment or rejection. It’s also about actively listening to your partner and trying to understand their perspective.

Effective communication requires both parties to be willing to listen and be heard. It’s about being honest and vulnerable. It’s about showing up for each other when it’s hard, and being willing to work through the challenges that arise. This requires emotional maturity, which can take time and effort to develop.

The truth is, relationships are not easy. They take work, patience, and understanding. But when both partners are committed to each other and to the relationship, amazing things can happen. There is nothing quite like the feeling of being truly seen and accepted by another person.

How do you know if you’re ready for a committed relationship?

So how do you know if you’re ready for a committed relationship? The first step is to work on yourself. As the saying goes, you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. This means being comfortable and content on your own, without needing a relationship to feel whole.

It also means being willing to work through your own issues and emotional baggage. This could mean going to therapy, practicing self-care, or simply being honest with yourself about your own flaws and shortcomings. When you are able to accept and love yourself, you are better able to accept and love someone else.

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Once you feel ready to pursue a committed relationship, it’s important to take your time. Rushing into a relationship based solely on physical attraction or infatuation is a recipe for disaster. Instead, focus on getting to know the other person on a deeper level.

This means taking the time to build a strong foundation of trust and communication. It means being honest about your own feelings and needs, and being willing to listen to and understand your partner’s feelings and needs as well. It means being patient and respectful, and not trying to rush the relationship or push your partner into anything they’re not ready for.

As you continue to date and get to know each other, it’s important to remain open and honest. This means being willing to share your fears and insecurities, as well as your hopes and dreams. It means being vulnerable, even when it’s uncomfortable or scary.

Infatuation and true love

At the same time, it’s important to be aware of the differences between infatuation and true love. Infatuation is often based on external factors, such as physical attraction or a shared interest. True love, on the other hand, is based on deeper values and compatibility.

This is why it’s important to take your time getting to know someone before committing to a relationship. It can take months, or even years, to truly understand whether you are compatible with another person on a fundamental level.

But when you do find that special someone, the rewards can be immense. There is nothing quite like the feeling of being truly seen and accepted by another person. When you are in a committed relationship with someone you love, you have a partner for life. Someone who will be there for you through thick and thin, someone who will support you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

How do you make sure that your relationship lasts?

But how do you make sure that your relationship lasts? How do you ensure that you and your partner continue to grow and evolve together over the years?

The first step is to recognize that a strong relationship is not something that happens overnight. It takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners to build and maintain a healthy, happy partnership.

This means continuing to work on yourself, even after you enter into a committed relationship. It means being open to feedback and criticism from your partner, and being willing to make changes and adjustments as necessary.

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It also means being willing to compromise and collaborate. No two people are exactly alike, and there will inevitably be differences and disagreements in any relationship. The key is to approach these challenges as a team, working together to find a solution that works for both partners.

The important of trust in a relationship

Another important aspect of a lasting relationship is trust. Trust is the foundation upon which all healthy relationships are built. It means being honest and transparent with your partner, even when it’s difficult. It means being reliable and dependable, following through on your commitments and promises.

When trust is broken, it can be incredibly difficult to repair. That’s why it’s so important to take steps to maintain and strengthen trust in your relationship. This means being open and honest with each other, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means communicating regularly, and not keeping secrets from each other.

Why emotional intimacy matters

Another key to a lasting relationship is intimacy. This doesn’t just mean physical intimacy, although that can be an important part of any romantic partnership. It also means emotional intimacy, the ability to connect with your partner on a deep, meaningful level.

This requires vulnerability, the willingness to share your deepest fears and insecurities with your partner. It also requires active listening, being fully present and attentive when your partner is sharing their own thoughts and feelings.

Finally, it’s important to recognize that no relationship is perfect. There will be times when you and your partner disagree or have conflicts. There may even be times when you question whether the relationship is worth it.

But when you have a strong, committed partnership, you can work through these challenges together. You can communicate openly and honestly, working together to find a solution that works for both partners.

Conclusion

Ultimately, what makes a relationship last is a combination of factors, including trust, communication, vulnerability, and commitment. It takes time and effort to build and maintain a healthy, happy partnership, but the rewards are well worth it. When you find that special someone who truly understands and accepts you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of being truly loved and supported.

Earlier we published, 20 Beautiful Love Quotes to Inspire Your Heart and Soul. You may give it a good read here

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Kenya

Kenyan police clash with opposition Protesters over rising prices and taxes

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Nairobi, Kenya – Violent clashes erupted on Wednesday as Kenyan police fired tear gas at opposition demonstrators who defied a ban on rallies to protest against skyrocketing prices and new government taxes.

The capital city of Nairobi was under heavy police surveillance, with shops closed in response to the unrest.

In the impoverished Mathare slum, demonstrators clashed with police, throwing stones as officers responded with tear gas to disperse the crowds.

Similar confrontations occurred in the southern port city of Mombasa, where authorities also employed tear gas to quell the protests.

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The head of Kenya’s national police force had issued a ban on opposition-led demonstrations the previous day, citing the opposition’s failure to inform the authorities about their plans.

The ban was accompanied by an appeal to the public not to participate in these “illegal gatherings.”

Last Friday, demonstrations against President William Ruto’s government had taken place in several cities, prompted by a call from opposition leader Raila Odinga.

In Nairobi, police fired tear gas at Odinga’s convoy, while similar measures were employed to disperse rallies in Mombasa and Kisumu.

Tragically, at least three individuals lost their lives during the protests, according to hospital and police sources.

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Kenya’s National Human Rights Commission has called for a comprehensive investigation into all reported instances of alleged “police brutality.”

On Saturday, activists reported that police deployed tear gas against civil society representatives, including former Chief Justice Willy Mutunga, who were demanding the release of dozens of individuals arrested during the protests.

Raila Odinga’s Azimio alliance has announced plans to organize weekly demonstrations against the policies of President William Ruto’s government.

Odinga, who lost the August 2022 presidential election to Ruto, claims that the election was “stolen” from him.

In early July, President Ruto signed into law a finance bill that introduced several new taxes, despite criticism from the opposition and a population grappling with high inflation.

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Among the controversial measures is an increase in value-added tax (VAT) on fuel from 8% to 16% and an unpopular levy on salaries to fund a low-cost housing program.

Initially proposed at 3%, the salary levy has been reduced to 1.5% in response to public outcry.

As tensions continue to simmer, the government faces mounting pressure to address the grievances of its citizens and find a resolution to the ongoing crisis.

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Relationship

Dealing with Jealousy and Trust Issues in a Relationship

how-to-deal-with-jealousy-and-trust-issues-in-a-relationship
Views: 2589
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Jealousy and trust issues can be major sources of conflict in any relationship, whether it is a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a family relationship. These emotions can cause one or both partners to feel insecure, anxious, and unhappy, which can eventually lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Therefore, it is important to learn how to deal with jealousy and trust issues in a relationship in a healthy and constructive way.

Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy and trust issues in a relationship:

Understand the Root Cause of Jealousy and Trust Issues

Jealousy and trust issues usually stem from past experiences, such as being cheated on or betrayed by a partner or loved one. However, they can also be caused by insecurities and fears that have developed over time, such as fear of abandonment or fear of not being good enough. It is important to understand the root cause of these emotions in order to address them effectively.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Communication is key when it comes to dealing with jealousy and trust issues in a relationship. It is important to express your feelings to your partner in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to their perspective as well. Honesty and transparency are essential in building trust in a relationship, so it is important to be open about your thoughts and feelings.

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Build Trust Over Time

Trust is not built overnight. It takes time and effort to develop a strong foundation of trust in a relationship. One way to build trust is to follow through on your promises and commitments. Another way is to be reliable and consistent in your behavior. Small gestures such as calling or texting to check in, being on time for dates, and keeping your partner in the loop about your plans can all help to build trust over time.

Avoid Comparisons and Insecurities

Comparisons and insecurities can fuel jealousy and trust issues in a relationship. It is important to focus on your own strengths and to appreciate your partner for who they are. Avoid comparing yourself to others or to past partners, and try not to dwell on insecurities that may be unfounded or irrational. Instead, focus on building a strong relationship based on mutual respect and trust.

Work on Self-Improvement

Jealousy and trust issues can be caused by a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. Working on self-improvement can help to alleviate these emotions and create a stronger sense of self. This can include activities such as exercise, meditation, therapy, or taking up a new hobby. When you feel good about yourself, you are less likely to feel jealous or insecure in your relationship.

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Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important part of any healthy relationship. It is inevitable that mistakes will be made, and forgiveness is necessary in order to move forward. This includes forgiving yourself for any mistakes you may have made, as well as forgiving your partner for theirs. Holding onto resentment and anger will only serve to further damage the relationship, so it is important to practice forgiveness and let go of any negative emotions.

Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, jealousy and trust issues can be too difficult to manage on your own. If you find that your emotions are interfering with your ability to maintain a healthy relationship, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable insight and guidance on how to deal with these emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

Show Appreciation

Showing appreciation to your partner is a great way to build trust and strengthen your relationship. It can be as simple as saying thank you or expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does.

Don’t Let Social Media Fuel Jealousy

In today’s digital age, social media can be a breeding ground for jealousy and insecurity. It is important to recognize that social media is often a highlight reel and not an accurate reflection of reality. Comparing yourself to others on social media can be detrimental to your self-esteem and your relationship. Try to limit your social media use and focus on building a strong relationship in the real world.

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Don’t Let Jealousy and Trust Issues Define Your Relationship

While jealousy and trust issues can be challenging to deal with, it is important not to let them define your relationship. Remember that relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. By working together with your partner and focusing on building a strong foundation of trust. You can overcome jealousy and trust issues and create a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

In conclusion, dealing with jealousy and trust issues in a relationship requires patience, effort, and a willingness to work through difficult emotions. By understanding the root cause of these emotions, communicating openly and honestly, building trust over time, practicing self-improvement, celebrating milestones together, and seeking professional help if necessary, you can create a strong and healthy relationship based on mutual respect and trust. Remember that relationships take work, but the rewards of a fulfilling and loving partnership are worth it.

You may want to read: How to maintain a healthy long-term relationship

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Relationship

How to maintain a healthy long-term relationship

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Views: 1564
Read Time:5 Minute

Maintaining a healthy long-term relationship can be a challenging task, but it is not impossible. In fact, with some effort and commitment, it is possible to keep the spark alive in a relationship for years to come. In this article, we will discuss some essential tips that can help you maintain a healthy and happy long-term relationship.

Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Without proper communication, misunderstandings can quickly arise, leading to frustration, anger, and resentment. Therefore, it is crucial to communicate with your partner effectively. This means listening to them actively, expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, and being respectful at all times.

One way to improve communication in a relationship is to set aside time each day to talk. It can be as simple as discussing your day or sharing your thoughts and feelings about a particular topic. When you make communication a priority, it will become a habit, and you will find it easier to discuss any issues that arise in your relationship.

Trust

Trust is another critical component of a healthy long-term relationship. It can take time to build trust, but once you have it, it can help strengthen your relationship. To build trust, it is essential to be honest with your partner, keep your promises, and avoid doing anything that could damage the trust between you.

If trust has been broken in your relationship, it is important to work together to repair it. This may involve talking openly about the issue, acknowledging the hurt that was caused, and making a commitment to change your behavior in the future.

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Respect

Respect is a fundamental element of any healthy relationship. It means treating your partner with kindness, consideration, and understanding, even when you disagree with them. When you show respect to your partner, you are acknowledging their feelings and opinions, and you are valuing their contribution to the relationship.

To maintain respect in your relationship, it is important to listen to your partner without interrupting, avoid making derogatory comments or criticizing them, and make an effort to understand their perspective. When you treat your partner with respect, they are more likely to do the same for you, creating a positive cycle of mutual respect.

Quality time

Spending quality time with your partner is crucial to maintaining a healthy long-term relationship. This means setting aside time for each other, away from distractions and daily responsibilities, to focus on your relationship. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or just a quiet evening at home, spending quality time together can help strengthen your connection.

When you spend time together, make an effort to connect on a deeper level. This can involve discussing your hopes and dreams for the future, sharing your thoughts and feelings about your relationship, or just enjoying each other’s company without any distractions.

Compromise

Compromise is an essential part of any successful long-term relationship. It means being willing to give and take, to find a solution that works for both of you. When you compromise, you are acknowledging that your partner’s needs and wants are just as important as your own.

To compromise effectively, it is important to listen to your partner’s perspective. Identify areas where you can give a little, and be willing to make concessions to reach a mutually beneficial solution. When both partners are willing to compromise, it can help prevent conflicts from escalating and lead to a stronger, more harmonious relationship.

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Appreciation

Expressing appreciation for your partner is another important element of a healthy long-term relationship. It means acknowledging their contributions to the relationship, whether big or small, and expressing gratitude for their efforts. When you show appreciation, you are letting your partner know that you value them and that you recognize their importance in your life.

To show appreciation, you can do small things like saying thank you or showing affection, or larger gestures like planning a surprise or celebrating a special occasion. The key is to be genuine and heartfelt in your expressions of appreciation, and to make it a regular part of your relationship.

Intimacy

Intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship. It involves physical, emotional, and mental closeness, and can help strengthen the bond between partners. To maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship, it is important to make time for physical affection, emotional connection, and intellectual stimulation.

This can involve things like holding hands, cuddling, or engaging in sexual activity, as well as sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other, and engaging in stimulating conversations or activities that you both enjoy. When you prioritize intimacy in your relationship, it can help keep the spark alive and create a deeper, more fulfilling connection.

Forgiveness

No relationship is perfect, and there will inevitably be times when one partner makes a mistake or does something hurtful. When this happens, it is important to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness means letting go of resentment, anger, and blame, and making a conscious effort to move forward in a positive way.

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To practice forgiveness, it is important to acknowledge the hurt that was caused, express your feelings in a constructive way, and work together to find a solution or a way to move forward. When both partners are willing to forgive and let go of past hurts, it can help create a more harmonious and positive relationship.

Self-care

Finally, it is important to practice self-care in a long-term relationship. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health, and making time for your own interests and hobbies. When you prioritize your own well-being, you are better able to show up as your best self in your relationship.

Self-care can involve things like exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness practices, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. When you take care of yourself, you are also setting a positive example for your partner. It also means that you are showing them that you value yourself and your relationship.

In conclusion, maintaining a healthy long-term relationship requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow and evolve together. By prioritizing communication, trust, respect, quality time, compromise, appreciation, intimacy, forgiveness, and self-care, you can create a strong and fulfilling relationship that lasts a lifetime. Remember, no relationship is perfect, and there will inevitably be challenges along the way. But when you approach these challenges with love, patience, and understanding, you can overcome them together and create a relationship that is truly special.

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